The Nature of Leadership (end)

Chapter 4 : reptilian Exelence
Reptilians show the toughness side of a leader.
Leaders need to be tough and tough minded, at times thick skinned and even cold blooded. They need visibly demonstrate that they are tough from time to time. It includes mental toughness and emotional toughness. They need to be tough because their people will follow everything that they do or they command.
Why do leaders need to be tough? It’s to survive, to set the tone at the top, to establish authority and credibility, to get things done and to ensure strong management, It means inspired leadership. Inspired leadership means that our capability in doing things can make people being motivated and do what they should do.
Tough leader, brave (epecially to say “No” clearly and directly), strict.What are the capabilities? Setting the bar high and making sure it does not slip. Excellent leader : smart, tough, and fair.

Chapter 5 : Mamalian Excellence
Mamalian is the character of warm leader.
They are tend to be Nurturing leader:
-treat people with dignity and respect
- see and develop the potential in people,
-make it about your people, not about themselves
The difference between:
“authoritarian” : if the leaders leave, the people wiill stop working
“democratic” : if the leaders leave, the people will continues working
Capabilities : personality based, good learners, motivating. Have the dream deal : always make it come true.
Having leadership triad:
Stretch : setting the main goal that aspire
Support : undrstand people and ensure that people have the resources they need.
Connect : putting the right people in touch with each other.
Be an effective communicator and a good listener. How to learn what is going on. Be curious, ask, observe, and listen.Maintain a sense of humor and irony.

Chapter 6 : the secret of becoming a good leader
Great leader : achieving change due to Abrahan Lincoln. He does not afraid if he is surrounded by the strongest peole.
Helicopter view : extraordinary sense of perspective. Great leaders today : innovators and original thinkers and often curious about things; risk taker;
If you start it today, be yourselves, and begins with a small scale leadership. Do not worry about your sparkle factor, your unusual presence will occurs by the time goes by.

Chapter 7 : challenge yourselves to become a great leader
After reading the book, this book is not only to be read, but also it’s to be practiced. Practice to be a leader, is not a learning in one night, but it needs patience to start from the very first step. Try from the foundation first. Then step to the next stage of Leadership Pyramid. ^^

The Nature Leadership (part 1)

Chapter 1 : Become a Leader, a Better Leader, a Great Leader

When I saw this book for the first time, I impressed on this cover, a lion and a lizard. I thought, maybe it’s another leadership on nature, maybe about something wild and so “jungle”. “Wild” leadership? Maybe I should try it! It is about Reptilian and Mammalian Characters of leadership. Well, of course I never heard about this before. Reptilian and Mammalian? It sounds interesting. The subtitle really makes me curious and challenges me. (I’m a girl who tries to be wild with my leadership, hehe :D) “Become a Leader, a Better Leader, a Great Leader”, yeah, of course, that’s so Ami! Hehe..

The writers told the reader that being a good leader, you have to be as though as nails (this is Reptilian excellence) and warm as toast (Mammalian excellence). So, it means that you need leadership skill and management skill. In this book, we can see the “leadership pyramid” and the writers challenge the reader to climb this pyramid. The writers also ask the reader to answer some challenging questions like this : “Ask yourself, can I develop myself to be a great leader? And will I have the chance to serve as one? Let me give you the answers, odds will say ‘yes’.” I think I’m the one who odds! It’s told that only few extraordinary leaders in this world, perhaps I could be the one. (Amen! -.-)

Chapter 2 : The Reptiles versus The Mammals

The reason why the writers only mention two of the major characteristics of a leader (reptilian and mammalian, don’t like the other writers of leadership experts who always expose a number of characteristics, 7, 8 or 13) was because in this world there were always any controversy of something, for example yin and yang, internal vs external, etc. This chapter explains the difference between those two characteristics of animal. The differences are like this:

Reptiles

Detached

Analytical

Quantitative

Independent

Adversarial

Focus on control

Faith in evidence

Rely on audits

Value contracts

Mammals

Engaged

Emotional

Qualitative

Interdependent

Cooperative

Emphasis on freedom

Faith in others

Rely on trust

Value community

Those characteristics couldn't be separated; they need each other to complete our ability. Those characters do not better, not worse, just different. The best leaders must be both reptilian and mammalian, for example, leaders must be reptilian because people need order and stability to perform productively and efficiently, leaders must be Mammalian because people need attention and someone to believe in them in order to do their best. The most interesting message that really stuck on my brain was : to be a good leader, you need ability and management skill. That’s why I rearrange my self so that everything doesn’t go in messy way. (I bought new simple note books to arrange my schedule and things I need. Hehe..

Chapter 3 : The Leadership Pyramid

This pyramid helps the reader to identify our natural strengths and weaknesses (we all have them!). It can help to develop our strengths, improve our weaknesses, and guide the reader to leadership excellence. This chapter told the reader deeply that we shall take step by step to the highest level of leadership itself. I know why, I was so curious to try those characters! And it really makes me shock with its effect. “leadership effect”, hehe.. actually, those characters are common, but I believe that naturally we were already have it, just how we develop and improve it. I believe that I have the foundations, “desire to be in charge”à I always thirsty in leading something, even others think I could not, “ability and strength” à after several times arranged and leaded something, I feel that my ability and strength to face challenge improved (I fell and got up so many times, and sacrificed many things too – dramatize myself.. hehe..) , “character”à hmm..I’m still training and trying to find my own characters, but I know two things, I’m strict and stubborn, haha..

I think I should improve many things, but I will not try to be someone else, I will try to be “Me”. Perhaps this song could be my identity, “I Am” from Hillary Duff, “I am special, I am beautiful, I am wonderful and powerful,….”. aha..that’s Am-I!
The leadership pyramid is like this :

Great leaders: innovative,risktaking, sparkle

Reptilian

Disciplined

Control

Cool

Analytical

Attention to detail

Economic sense

Financial man

Mammalian

Nurturing

Delegate

Warm

Developmental

Attention to context

People sense

Commnication

Foundation: Desire to be in charge, ability, strength, character

your journey in this pyramid will be like this :

you have the foundations first, then you develop the reptilian and mamalian characters. if you have already developed all, you could be a great leader with its all characteristic.

so, which one is you? who are you?

..to be continued..

Nice Trip to Jogja, the city of Keraton

on 5th - 8th Dec 2008, all the students of English Dept and I had a study tour to Jogjakarta. We went there to observe two English Departments of Sanata Dharma University and Gadjahmada University. On the second day, it was a full-day-trip to see some attracting and amazing places.
I was very excited to join this study tour, because I have never been out of East Java since I was 18 years old! oh, what a pity.. Yes, it is because I could get nauseated easily when I am on the vehicles! But, when I studied in MCU, I was learning not to be nauseated by trying some journey to nearer town like Surabaya and the furthest town I've visited was Banyuwangi. Finally, when I got in the bus to Jogja, I felt a bit dizzy, but then it was Ok and I could through the journey safely and without feeling dizzy at all! yeah...
When I arrived at Jogja, I immediately felt so excited but secure (because I was happy that i would meet some friends and family here..). Ok, we immediately went to our room and got prepared to go to Sanata Dharma University. Of course I had to bring some equipment for my performance on the drama circle. Then at 8 we had breakfast (a very nice breakfast at Sejahtera's hotel.. hmmm..sllurrpp...)
Going to SaDhar....
We went to SaDhar on foot together in the hot morning. Yes, it's hot in Jogja. Before we arrived at SaDhar, all of us got wet and our make-up (especially for us who will perform a drama) faded. Hehehe... SaDhar was under-recovering at that time, that's why there were so many materials a long the side of the corridor.
Then surprisingly, the SaDhar's students greeted us so warmly and nicely. They also accompanied us to look around their facilities. There are some laboratories that MCU doesn’t have, for example the Micro teaching library, language library with its equipment, multimedia library for searching the material, and audio-visual library.
At noon, after a very rush lunch on the bus, we arrived at Gadjah Mada University. Wow, it’s a very large campus! Ok, in UGM we shared each other activities on campus and what’s on our campus. UGM gave us Taiko-drumming which was very interesting art from Japan! But, MCU also gave some nice performance too. There were Mrs. Moore drama and singing performance by Adelia and friends. >,<>

Hmm..on the way back to Malang, I did not join my friends to go home because I want to go to my aunt’s house. Yes, I met her on the last 6 months. Of course I really miss her. My lovely aunt.. on Monday, I went to Malioboro again and to Beringharjo Market. We bought some “oleh-oleh” for my family. I got a beautiful Batik! Yeei! After shopping a lot, I had to work on my Ansos. Hiks… actually, I was tired at that time, but I must finish it. Then I worked on it with half asleep… zzZZ…. Hm, at 5.30 pm, I went to Ambarukmo Plaza with my uncle to pick up my aunt for dinner. After that, Om Budi and I went hunting “Peyek Tumpuk”, food that I forgot to tell my friends that it really special in Jogja. Hehehe… hm..finally I went home at 8 PM with travel. Yei, it’s the first time for me to go home alone. But, I could do it! And I arrived at home at 5.30 Am safely.. but, I must go to campus. >,< (do not tell anyone that I was sleeping when Bu Dian taught us in the last hour until 4 PM!) yes, and I could not do my writing assignment earlier. I’m sorry Sir…

Girls Nagging VS Boys Moaning

Good day friends. Today I’m going to tell you about “nagging versus moaning”.
Are you going crazy with your opposite sex because both of you never in the same way of thinking? Boy, are you feel annoy with girl’s nags? Girls, are you feel annoy with boys behavior?

I’d like to tell you that we’re all in the same trouble to understand how boys/girls behave. Now, let us start to enjoy the difference between boy and girls’ behavior of girls’ nagging and boys’ moaning.
I’m assuming that none of you satisfied with a quarrel between your boyfriend and girlfriend just because your boyfriend was late to pick you up or your girlfriend was just too talkative about your attitude. I’d like to tell you that we have to understand about why boys/girls behave like what we are thinking now and how to handle these problems.

First of all, I’m so concerned about this because I’ve ever felt the same just like you and I had trouble when I didn’t find the answers.

Women’s nagging versus men’s moaning often makes the problem. First, I’m going to explain this condition. Nagging is a term used almost exclusively by men to describe women when women reminding the males in their lives to do things that must be done: taking medication, picking up their mess, making all papers and reports done, etc. Some nagging is considered constructive, for example: your girlfriend is reminding you to stop smoking, of course, this nagging help keeping you alive. Beside, moaning is an attitude commenting on certain things which do not fit with men’s way of thinking. For example: men are commenting on his girlfriend’s appearance or men are commenting on the cleanness of the room.

Women feel that nagging shows that they care, but man rarely sees it in the same light. The nagger always hopes their victim will be motivated into some positive action by being made to feel guilty. But, the worst problem is the more women nags, the more isolated she becomes and it makes the men turn into the victims. Why? When nagging gets out of hand, the naggers’ relationship with others can really suffer. Men may ignore her even more irritated her. Then she may end up feeling alone and may become resentful and miserable. Is it right? And, the more the women nag, the more the victim retreats behind the kind of defensive barriers that drive the nagger crazy. The only real outcome from nagging is the destruction of the relationship between the nagger and the victim because the victim feels he has to continually defend himself.

Why nagging never works? The main reason is that nagging has the built-in expectations of failure. While naggers hope their words will push their victims into action, they often expect them to fail or they invite a negative response. Women will nags instead of saying their requests directly.
I have shown you that nagging vs. moaning is bad and raise a lot of problem on your relationship. So, what are the best solutions to overcome these problems?

First, for girls, saying what you mean. Yes, saying what you mean directly to boys, because you need to understand that male brain function is comparatively simple and men can rarely guess what women and partners really mean beyond the actual words they’ve uttered. Once both sexes have realized this, it makes communication much simpler, and removes the need for much of the nagging that takes place.

Second, girls, saying how you feel. When you let him know that you don’t think he will make good decisions, he feels he is a failure and can never meet your standards. Instead, he shuts off. Then, get your message across to him. He will understand and wants you to discuss with him about what you’re talking about.

Third, use the “Me” ”I” technique to get the boy understand. If you want to complaint something, tell him about your problem, but never complaint him with always saying “you”, because it will make him defense to you. The “Me” ”I” technique is powerful because it reduces defensiveness, increases honesty and clarifies everyone’s feeling.

For boys, I would like to tell you how to understand a nagger. If a victim is honest with himself and admits the elements of truth in the nagging and recognizes that nagging is usually a cry of recognition, he could quickly turn the situation into a win-win solution. Because the basis of nagging is truth, the victim must accept equal responsibility for nagging.

Now, you can see and realize that the only key of better communication rather than nagging and quarreling each other, is saying what you mean. None of us wants to get quarrel every time right? Or make the relationship get worse. So, we should start to overcome this problem by some simple ways. And, if you do these, your relationship will get better. Ok? Good luck! :)

Comparison Speech Text

Good afternoon, my dear friends. This afternoon, I’m going to share my experience of being a volunteer in UK in the Projects’ Abroad Ltd, especially the difference between volunteering in Indonesia and U.K.
In the U.K, there is a volunteering organization which concerns to help people in poor countries. They help to create local employment wherever they send volunteers. The founder, Dr. peter Slowe explained in the annual report on 2007 that last year, they made a major achievement and they channeled into less developed countries the energy, skills and commitment of some 3,500 volunteers, they reached over £3,000,000, doubled by the amount that volunteers spend personally while they are abroad.
First, I’m going to explain the how this organization works. This organization help volunteers in handling the accommodation to their country destination. So, they arrange prices how much the volunteer should pay for their trip and safety in the country destination. However, by paying this administration matter, the volunteer can also helps to develop the volunteering program.
Second, the reasons why there are so many volunteers want to do this project. Being a volunteer outside the country is not easy as it seems. They have to make a great effort before they can help other people in outside their country. Even though they have to pay high for their accommodation, but they still have spirit to help people. Their spirit is more than the native citizen of their destination country; they are more concern than them. Their projects mostly are in education and health field. They help kids to learn English and some basic knowledge like math and reading. They also share how to make a good and healthy living in limited condition of the poor people.
While in Indonesia, there is no such kind of organization which concerns to send volunteers abroad. We are lack of volunteering organization. There are some, which concerns to poor people and kids in Indonesia, but those organizations do not really work as a non-profit organization. Some of them, they just work for receiving fund from the government, but this fund never been realized to help people. Beside, there are only limited people who are really concern about poor people and unlucky people/kids.
Next, almost nobody do not interesting in volunteering program in our country, moreover going abroad to help people in Africa perhaps. It is hard to help people here, the question that might come up to most of us is : why should we help people in Africa if our country is as worst as there? We can not even help our society, so it would be useless to help people outside Indonesia. In fact, there are still few people who concerns about helping people, who established few volunteering organizations.
Generally speaking, I just want to tell you that we should feel ashamed with people outside Indonesia, if we have not been a volunteer yet to help our society. Thank you for your attention.